So you've been feeling as if things are not right for some time, you know that there's something wrong with you. You've been experiencing a host of numerous and seemingly random symptoms.
Obviously lots of different scenarios and possibilities are running through your head. (Which doesn't really help matters at all!) Finally you make an appointment with the doctor to discuss what has been going on and talk about all the symptoms you have noticed.
The doctor records what you've said and tells you that they will do some tests to see what is going on.
You wait patiently as you get blood tests done and are sent for an MRI - basically all the tests they do to rule out various possible conditions and illnesses.
You've waited for the results to come back to the surgery and to see the doctor again, hoping that it's nothing serious, but if it is - that it's something treatable!
The doctor sits you down and tells you that all of your tests and scans have come back clear, luckily you don't have anything fatal - you have M.E. M.E?
Yes, we've ruled out any other conditions or illnesses with the various tests and scans and I can confirm that your diagnosis is M.E!
I felt a short burst of relief when I heard it, it's not a terminal illness, I've not got 6 months left to live, the doctor knows what it is. Thankfully I now finally have an answer to what has been going on with my body for all this time, all of these symptoms now make sense.
I don't know about others but I grew up as a child with the false ideas that adults knew all the answers (well, you have to learn as you grow up so surely you know everything when you're old?) and doctors know all about illness and how to cure them or at least treat them!
Sadly, where M.E is concerned most doctors don't know all about it, many know very little about it, some know nothing about it, others deny it's existence completely and they definitely don't know how to cure or treat it!
My G.P told me that he had no information on M.E but the best thing that I could do was to go home and Google it. A strange thing to hear from a doctor. because they generally give out about patients using the internet to search for medical problems
I think many people look up one symptom they actually have and then come to see the doctor armed with a list of about 10 conditions that they think they possibly could have!
When most people hear M.E they recognise the name, I remember as a child hearing about M.E and the words 'yuppie flu'. Used widely in the 80's and having been born in 82 it was a term I'd heard quite a few times.
I've a vague memory of seeing something on t.v about it as a young child and thinking it was when people who worked got really tired. So I wasn't starting off with any real knowledge about it at all.
I did as the doctor suggested and looked it up online. It helped, as there were lots of things that had been happening over time that I'd not paid much attention to or would have even thought of that suddenly made sense.
Products I'd become sensitive to, why I was especially tired after activity, problems finding words, problems with memory, always feeling like I was really low on iron.
There seemed to be lots to explain symptoms of M.E, but nothing to cure it. I looked into the history of M.E a bit, wondering how people could feel so awful, with so many symptoms and have it compared to flu? Apart from that, my research at that stage pretty much stopped there.
I tried to explain to family and friends that I'd had on going symptoms for a while, I'd been through various tests and scans to see what was causing all the symptoms and finally got a diagnosis.
People asked what type of symptoms I'd had? I explained I was always exhausted, rest/sleep didn't make any difference, I'd a lot of pain, headaches. Several people said it sounded awful and asked me what the doctor had said?
I explained to them that I had a diagnosis of M.E. I was surprised at how many people came out with similar responses. "M.E? That's that yuppie flu thing." "So your just tired?" "That's not a real condition."
I wrongly assumed that like myself they had just heard and understood little about M.E and like myself, if they found out some information about it, they would understand what it is and how the illness affects people.
I tried to explain that M.E is a neurological disorder and has been classified as such by the World Health Organisation since 1969, it's not a case of 'just being tired'. It causes extreme fatigue, problems with memory and concentration, causes pain, problems with muscles, affects your bladder and bowels etc
Well, I may as well have been speaking to myself. No matter what was said by me, the World Health Organisation, the NHS, GP etc - there was nothing wrong with me.
From then on my neurological disorder M.E was referred to as 'aches and pains'! I made several more attempts over time to help them understand but my efforts were wasted and I was regularly asked; "How are the aches and pains today?"
Realising that there was no cure, I had went back to the doctor's surgery and saw several doctors over a period of time hoping that they could help me manage the pain and improve other symptoms I had.
I was in my early 20's with a young baby, I wanted my life back. The amount of insults, comments and disbelief that I received from various doctors about a medical condition I had been diagnosed with was absolutely shocking!
"There's nothing wrong with you that getting a bit of exercise wouldn't cure" "You're depressed, a good anti-depressant and you'll be fine" "As long as I'm a doctor - you'll be in pain" "You're lying about doing nothing instead of getting up, going out and living your life" "M.E? there's no such thing"
Everything that the doctors were saying to me was wrong. I was active and independent, to the point I'd bust my C-section open 4 days after my baby was born because I didn't take doctors advice and not over do things after having major surgery.
I was back working within mental health within a few weeks of having my baby. I was studying counselling at the local college and had started a psychology degree online as well as playing in a band.
When I couldn't sleep I'd spend hours on the dance mat, trying to loose the baby weight waiting for my wee boy to wake up for his feed at night. It definitely wasn't a case of me lying about doing nothing!
As for being depressed, what could I possibly be depressed about? I'd the most beautiful baby boy, my plans for work a career and a good future for us both were taking shape.
Everything I wanted was falling into place - the only problem I had was the M.E which was impacting more on my life as time went on and making it harder for me to live my life the way I wanted.
I decided to go back to the GP who had initially diagnosed the M.E. I spoke to him about the problems I was having and the fact that I wanted my life back.
He was very honest and said that he couldn't treat my M.E but he would do everything that he possibly could to help manage the symptoms.
I'd also told him that I was having an awful lot of pain and using my arms to try to do a simple task like drying my hair left me feeling like I'd pulled and strained every muscle in my arms.
He did a lot of poking and prodding at various tender points on my body, asked a series of questions and then told me that he was also diagnosing me with Fibromyalgia.
When I asked what it was, he told me that it affects the muscles and caused other problems but like M.E it was not terminal and not curable.
That it would be dealt with in the same way as M.E - by trying to help manage the symptoms. So off I went, armed with a vast collection of new medications away home to get on with my life!
M,E (Myalgic Encephalomyelitis) is a neurological disorder and has been classified as this by the World Health Organisation since 1969.
Myalgic Encephalomyelitis translated means inflammation of the brain and spinal cord. M.E can affect people of all ages. M.E in the UK and in other places around the world is also referred to as CFS (Chronic Fatigue Syndrome) or M.E/CFS although most people with the condition don't like the term CFS as it implies that M.E is just fatigue and it's much, much more than that!
Currently there is no diagnostic test for M.E and getting a diagnosis usually involves tests and scans to rule out other conditions. There is also no treatment or cure for this illness. M.E isn't the same for everyone, people can have mild, moderate or severe M.E. It's estimated that 25% of people with M.E are severely affected often leaving them housebound or bed bound. Many people have little to no knowledge about the illness which sadly includes many medical professionals! A lot of people remember it being referred to as 'yuppie flu' and think that having M.E means that you're just a bit tired. Others refuse to believe that the illness exists at all. Many people with M,E face a lot of judgement and disbelief by family, friends and professionals within the medical community.
M.E affects every bodily system and symptoms can include;
cognitive dysfunction (often referred to as brain fog),which can include problems understanding and following conversations, trouble finding words,
problems with concentration
Post Exertional Malaise (a worsening of symptoms after activity)
Sensitivities to noise, light and chemicals
problems with bladder and bowels
muscle pain, muscle spasms and involuntary twitching and jerking
sore and swollen glands
problems with being upright
difficulties with eating and swallowing
sleep problems; difficulty getting to sleep, unrefreshing sleep, sleeping for excessive amounts of time, unusual sleep patterns, periods of insomnia
There are literally something like 60 known symptoms that people with M.E can experience so I'll not list them all or you'll be thoroughly bored and most likely falling asleep!
Some quotes on M.E;
”ME/CFS is actually more debilitating than most other Medical problems in the world, including Patients undergoing Chemotherapy and HIV Patients (until about two weeks before death.)" Canadian ME/CFS Consensus
"Research has shown that M.E. has been found to be more disabling than MS, heart disease, virtually all types of cancer, patients undergoing chemotherapy or haemodialysis. It is comparable to end-stage AIDS, i.e. to how ill and disabled an AIDS patient is 2 weeks before death.” Hooper and Marshall
Sadly many people have had breakdowns in relationships with family and friends due to lack of understanding, misconceptions and disbelief of the illness so have little/no support. My own family describe my debilitating neurological illness as "aches and pains".
M.E is not tiredness, it's not depression, people who are affected by the illness are not just lazy, it's not a case that we don't do things that we used to because we couldn't be bothered - we can't do them because we are ill and our bodies aren't capable of doing what they used to!
People with M.E often hear the same comments from people over and over again; 'you don't look sick' 'you just need to get more exercise' 'you're so lucky not having to work, being able to lye in bed etc' 'just push through it and try to get on with things' 'have you tried.........?'
We may not look sick but we are, it's an invisible illness so we can look fine but feel awful. Getting more exercise is not what we need, in fact exercising would actually make us feel worse.
We don't work because we can't and it's not exactly like we're having a great time because our days are free without having a job! Lying in bed all day is not something we want, we have numerous horrible symptoms, extreme fatigue and need to rest - a day off and lying in bed might be nice for someone who is healthy but it's not as if we're lying relaxing, we are in bed feeling horrible.
And yes if you have heard that x,y or z helps with M.E it's more than likely that we've heard it too and probably tried it as well as other numerous 'treatments' and 'cures' that don't work!
People with M.E have very limited energy and can get exhausted easily. It's human nature to want to push yourself and get on with things which the majority of people with M.E do, but this only makes our symptoms worse and often can cause relapses or progression of the disease.
The only way that people with M.E can keep their health at a stable level or have an improvement in health is by pacing ourselves, balancing activity with rest, not pushing our bodies to do what it can't easily manage and getting proper rest and plenty of it!